On a day where we questioned whether love was dead with the untimely loss of Brangelina, a hero came along and made us believe again.
With his parted hair and lint free suit, Australia’s own cupid Osher Gunsberg, took to the airwaves last night, to reassure us that all was not lost, as he opened this season of The Bachelorette
An empty mansion stands behind him (which looks impeccable considering its last tenant spent a considerable amount of time in a chocolate bath), Osher declares that this will now be home to Tasmanian journalist Georgia Love, who I think quit her job to be on the show (but she only mentioned that ten times, so I can’t be sure).
How true you are Bachie!? Lorette? B-lette? Let me know
Complete with picturesque sunsets, inspiring music and of course the classic Osher voice (the same one that revealed Shannon Noll didn’t win idol in 2003… but I don’t hold grudges), we are introduced to Georgia before she stepped out of the limo to meet the 16 men who will soon be fighting for her affections.
NOTE: The Gender gap is apparently also prominent within the Bachelor/ette world as Richie had 22 women, but again, no grudges…nope. Not at all.
So who are these bachelors? What are they like? How bad are their pick up lines? and how many of them have the same hair cut as Osher (95% to be exact), like all good reality shows we won’t know (or may never know) everyone’s stories and names and will have to wait until later on in the season, so for the meantime here are the ones we need to know.
Mr May aka Cameron– Fireman by day absolute charmer by night, Cameron is the only fireman in all of human history to not openly brag about being on the 2016 Fireman calendar and in his spare time enjoys a Disney movie or two.
The only guy to be a model and look like a teenage wizard at the same time– Harry Potter and the multi layered outfit anyone? Ah Reece, a successful entrepreneur, model and speaker of the language of love (French). The boy who lived tried to impress Bachie by speaking French to create an element of mystery… too bad she speaks French too and knew exactly what he was saying WHAT.A.FAIL.
After a small montage of other male hopefuls and significant manspreading, suddenly it becomes all to clear who will win Georgia’s heart.
DONKEY.IN.SOMBRERO.… and his friend Lee
With a spring in his step and a donkey in a poncho by his side (let’s call him Daniel) Lee showed us all the true definition of boyfriend material and the lengths someone should go to for the chance of finding love- even if means bringing a donkey just to ask ‘whether his ass looked big’- and to answer his question it certainly did.
Once all the models, male dancers, construction workers and mules entertained the mansion for the first cocktail party, Australia quickly realised that Georgia Love, just like Daniel the Donkey, are Australian television icons.
Sure she may have fallen over making her dramatic entrance into the mansion
And yes she had to deal with the worst bromance in Bachelorette history
But it was her ‘How to friendzone a guy in literally 5 seconds’ that will inspire a generation. In a game of ‘would you rather’ which covered all hard hitting issues( pineapple on a pizza anyone?), Georgia got the complete opposite answer to everything Sam ‘every girl on the planet likes me’ said, making her a true hero
Oh and the male dancer and a guy we never saw got eliminated but all in all it looks like we are in for another ‘incredible journey’ (Osher Gunburg, at least 3 times an episode,2016)
The Bachelorette returns 7:30 tonight on ten and we can only hope that 2017’s Bachelor will be equally aMULEsing #DonkeyForBachelor2017